Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The good life

My mothers dream for me is to be in a happy, loving relationship. She tells me all the time that she wants me to find love, a partner, some one to live happily ever after with. She told me the other night that this is all she hopes for me.


I find this concept amusing. She is the type of person that has to be with someone to be “ok”. She went from her parents to my father for over 30 years and directly to my step dad for the last 10 years with absolutely no break. She is happy, very happy with her life and that makes me happy for her.

But…

That is not who I am. I am a loner, and am happy and comfortable when I am by myself. I enjoy peace and quiet and not having to answer to anyone. Do I need companionship every once in a while? Hell yes! Do I want to someday find “the one”? Hell yes! But does it define me like it does her? NO!!

For most of my life I have done things solo and it has never bothered me. I don’t really even know any different. Very few times in my life have I had someone to help with bills or scheduling or things like that. It doesn’t bother me because I don’t know any different.

Being a single mom is no big deal to me. I never thought it would be any different. It seems like the norm to me that I have to do it all by my self. I have family that will always help when they can and I have some really great friends that would do anything for me and my daughter any time.

I think my life is the way it supposed to be right now and I am happy. And, guess what mom? I am in a happy loving relationship right now. Toots and I have each other and that is what I call a GOOD LIFE!!!

28 comments:

  1. I think it's inspiring that you are a single mother and don't see it as a bad thing. :)

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  2. I am with you girl! I agree 100%.

    I've been thinking about if/when I can have a baby, and there's no man in my plans. I'm getting scared that I'm getting too old and my happiness doesn't depend on a man.

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  3. I love this...and can totally relate--despite my overflowing male household! I put in so many years of 60 hr work weeks--I think it nearly drove me mad, being with people 24/7. (shudder) I have a quota of "alone time" that must be met. Hours and hours on end are required for me to find balance. Whether I'm painting, writing, alone in the yard...or even boxing. (I have a temper--channel it) Your daughter sounds so sweet...and you sound like someone I wish lived next door!

    The gift you give her of NOT needing another to complete you, of independence and joy not based on another's company....priceless. Happy early Mother's Day Danielle!

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  4. For most of my life I have done things solo too! As a kid - without parents, in a marriage - without a husband, and as a single mom - with myself and whatever resources I could come up with (no family help whatsoever).

    As much as I enjoy my independence I *do* hope someday to share my life with someone. And someone having my back every once in a while wouldn't be so bad. But I agree with you that the *need* to be with someone to feel complete is not me either.

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  5. I can totally relate to everything you just said!

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  6. My parents finally stopped talking about it with me. I think they think I'm nuts for going it solo. I'd love a partner, but don't ever expect to find "the one". I don't think there is just one out there.

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  7. WHEW! it just got hot in here!!!

    She is just darling too. Do it your way, you will be happier and truer to you that way. And some poor (lucky) dude will show up and find out just what he has been missing all his life.

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  8. I love this post too D.

    I am writing something similar for tomorrow. Similar but kind of opposite.

    You two are beautiful.

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  9. Toots is a cutey! You? Well, you're hawt!

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  10. Such a great post! I love that you are a happy independent single mom content with life. You are a good role model.

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  11. Wow, you are hawt ! Nice picture !

    My grandmothers wanted and continue to want me to fall in love. But I know that is because they were truly in love and just want me to be happily in love like they were.

    Like you, I am happier alone than with someone. I know how to take care of myself, it's what I've done all along.

    I would love to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. But I would rather be alone the rest of my life than spend it with someone I am not into completely.

    Happy Mothers Day !

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  12. AMEN SISTER!! That is awesome!!!!

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  13. great post... found your post through desp seeking me and i just wanted to say hello

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  14. You do have the happy, loving relationship your mother wants for you. It's with your daughter. It just doesn't fit into her limited definition. You and Toots are doing just fine.

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  15. That is a good life...and you are so beautiful!!

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  16. I think single mothers are inspirational. And dammit, who needs men? ;)

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  17. I think people need to be happy with themselves before they can be in a happy relationship anyway. And I think you are doing just fine. :)

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  18. You can never really be completely happy until you have a Lab.

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  19. I think you've got a very healthy outlook on things. I've had friends that were a lot like your mother. They always needed to be with someone to be happy.

    You know what I think?

    FUCK THAT!

    I was a total loner before I got married. I was happy being single. I don't need anyone else to define me. I can do that just fine on my own. Thanks.

    Sounds like you're the same way.

    BTW, love the picture!

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  20. First - LOVE that picture!

    Second - I think that's great that you dont need a man to define you. When you do fine 'the one' he'll know that you dont NEED him but actually WANT him. Does that make sense?

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  21. You are a hottie!! And you are doing and living exactly what you should be doind right now. You don't need a guy to be complete. :)

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  22. I think my mother has finally accepted me as I am, but it took a long long time and me having to explain it about 100 times!
    Isn't it great when you can honestly say you love your life?

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  23. You have an award on my blog :D

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  24. First of all, you are super hot!!! Wow, a knockout!!! Secondly, I can't even begin to tell you how awesome you are for being a single mom, and a great one from what I see on your blog. My hubs and I have an almost 2 yr old and I swear some days I think I might be going crazy and can't do it. And that's with a partner to help me so I really can't imagine doing what you do. Kudos to you and Toots! xoxo! Bella

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  25. absolutely! Happy Mother's day you are so beautiful and strong a powerful concoction

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  26. I find that when my mom said this sort of thing when I was single (and even now), it felt like she was putting an immense amount of pressure on me. Like - I want you to be happy - so go figure out how to be - oh and do it my way.

    Good for you for standing strong, alone!

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