Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Trying to let go!

I am a bit of a hypocrite sometimes. My girlfriend called me the other night because her and her boyfriend had split up. She was a wreck because she said something mean to him and he left. He said he was done and wouldn’t take her calls and it had been a couple of days since she talked to him. She told me that she was going to turn it over to God and let him decide what would happen. I went ballistic. I believe in God, really I do. I am not one to pray on things though. I told her that God wasn’t going to call and tell him that she was sorry and that she was wrong to say what she said. God wasn’t going to let him know that he is a good man and that she was being silly. God wasn’t going to tell him that she wanted another chance to show him that she really does love him. I told her that God may lead and guide you or even make the final decision but she has to make an effort. She has to make her wrongs right.


While listening to “A Return to Love”, the author said that sometimes you have to let go of all expectations and let “him” do his job. Put it in his hands because he will not let you down. I choose to believe that this means “let things that you have no control over find their own way in the universe”. “What is meant to happen will happen”. I want to learn this. I want to hand it over and let someone else decide. I get that I still have to do the background work/leg work but wouldn’t it be nice to be so at peace with not worrying what the outcome of situation will be. To have so much faith in what ever happens will happen because it is meant to. I want to believe in this.


  1. I think the only way you get to "relax and not worry about how things turn out" is when you really--and I mean really--know that you did your best. When you screw up, you're absolutely right, you must apologize and take responsibility. (and then, more than that--not do it again. I've been down the 'endless apology road' and it's just another name for abuse) But when you love as hard as you can, make time for the important things, and say no to the stupid....I think there we find the road to peace. Dear Lord, I hope so.

  2. Everyone is going to have an opinion on this, should be interesting to see what comments you get *grin*...and finding the balance is certainly the key. I personally think it takes a little bit of both. For me the peace comes in knowing that when I have done all that I can do that then it is time to step back and not worry or try to change/control those things which I have no control over. WAAAAY easier said than done FOR SURE. And I think that even for the strongest of people, people who live with an amazing amount of faith, it can be a struggle at times. Because really, if there is never any struggle where is the opportunity for growth?

    As far as you being a hypocrite...we ALL are at times. NO ONE is perfect. And it takes seeing parts of ourselves and hearing our own advice or support in another's situation sometimes to remind us what directions we should take. I don't think that makes you a hypocrite at all. I think that makes you a healthy minded person. :o) A hypocrite is a person who dishes it out but never sees that maybe sometimes they should take their own advice or recognizes that more often its easier said than done.

    And thank you for the post. It was a good reminder at a time when I needed it!

  3. Yes! Agreed with the comments so far. Absolutely you are right that God isn't going to make the phone call for her. But she can certainly give it up to God to help her change her mind about the situation. She can ask God to give her the courage to call him. She can ask God to help her find the right words to say and a different perspective to have and to see him much more clearly.

    Do what you can. Control what you can. And then, if it's still not working, give it to God to handle it. He's been guiding you along the way anyway. Why not step back and see... that perhaps SomeOne else has a better idea of what's good for you?

    We try so hard to control EVERYTHING and we simply can't do that. Sometimes we just have to allow...


  4. God won't make the phone call for her, no. But see, here's my thought. God gave us free will - and she may want to use that free will to call up her boyfriend and say I'm sorry, cuz yeah, God ain't gonna do it for her. That IS something she can control. T said well too ... She can ask God to help her, but God gave her the free will to make it right.

  5. What you said right here is the key:

    "to be so at peace with not worrying what the outcome of situation will be."

    Exactly. Yes, you can control your own actions and you can also choose what to do and how to feel about a situation, but knowing that you did your best and that you will be okay no matter what the outcome, is where the peace comes in. You've seen this happen with me, right? The empowerment and peace comes from within you, really, and not whatever the outcome of a situation is.

  6. everyone has said amazing things..and all true! We do all we can, knowing we did our best and shall have no regrets...then we let it go! Give it to!

  7. It would be really nice if the world worked that way but it does not, I don't believe events are pre-ordianed, the outcome of events is guided by people, and usually to most active ones.

    Sitting back and doing nothing, is exactly that, doing nothing, phrases like the early bird gets the worm.... what I am saying is if you want something then act accordingly.

    Other wise you wake up one day and get upset at why your life sucks, why you earnings are below your potential, why your single etc,... you might even say things like oh, that person was lucky, or well they were given this or that.. when in reality they acted to steer the direction of their lives, the trick is knowing which way to point the ship.

  8. This is why I love being an atheist :) I don't have to worry about whether or not to use free will or if it's anyone else's will or any of that! I have ups and downs, and sometimes it's my fault and sometimes it's not, and somehow, the world keeps on spinning.

  9. I've been thinking about this post for a while, considering what I would say, but most of it has already been said.

    I don't believe God controls what we do. We have free will. He knows what's going to happen, but that's not the same as controlling. We have a choice, whether or not someone believes it to be preordained. It's not for us to figure out what's preordained. Leave it to the one who knows.

    What He's best at is guiding us towards what's right. Towards doing the right thing. 9 times out of 10, the right thing is the selfless thing. (That 10th time is the time it looks selfish, but you're really doing it for their own good.)

    I think you're on the right track though. God has already instructed us on what we should do. Discovering what that is is the tough part.

  10. That's the best thing about living free you can choose to believe anything you want its up to you. It's up to uour friends and readerss to suport you in your choices.

  11. Relationships never take care of themselves---every relationship takes work.
    I don't think that you can rely on anyone or God to take care of your relationship.
    Sit back and wait and nothing will happen.

    If there is a God, I think he/she has a lot more to worry about than relationships

  12. This is something I think about quite often... I tend to think of myself being more 'spiritual' than 'religious'...

    Someone's belief in God, Jesus, Horus, Aten, etal... doesn't bother or offend me, but when I see some one looking for a pencil, she finds it, and then says, "Thank you God for helping me find my pencil..." I begin to think someone needs some different kind of help...

    Maybe I think of the 'Universe' guiding us... our thoughts, our actions... sometimes messages do come to us from somewhere... and more than likely from our inner selves... some of us just have to assign the responsibility for those things to someone other than ourselves... just in case things fuck up... :oD

    We have to have someone to blame.


  13. Well you just care about her and I am sure that it was hard to see she upset. I do believe everything happens for a reason and although we might not get it at first, we will understand later when lesson is learned...xoxoxo

  14. i'm still trying to get my head wrapped around the 'everything happens for a reason' idea. so many things have happened and continue to happen that just do not make sense to me. they didn't then and they still do not. i honestly wonder if this is just a way of thinking to get us through. i believe in god and do feel that if you need him, he will at times give you the strength to get through. i have no doubt in this.

  15. I'm of the school of thought that the universe gives us opportunities and we must do the work to take advantage of them. I truly believe the things in my life happened to me for a reason, but without the work I have done they wouldn't have happened. For example, you can't tell me that my fiance and I weren't *supposed* to meet and be together, the circumstances are too coincidental...but without the hard work of therapy and talking things out, etc we would never have made it to where we are...does that make sense? It takes a little bit of both, IMO.

  16. Do you think she really believes this...or is she just scared to call? I have trouble being so passive. Always. It's a character flaw.

    Hang in there. I know it's hard watching friends make choices we don't agree with.

    Thinking of you!

  17. I have a hard time just putting things in his hands too. I dont really like the wait and see approach. I'd rather be doing something, not just waiting.

    Youre not a hypocrite either. I think you were right. She should be making more of an effort to apologize. (IF she's really sorry anyways.)

  18. Oy, I have a mouthful to say on this but in an effort not to shit on anyones beliefs, I'll keep my mouth shut. I'm pretty sure God told me to say that.

  19. The term 'leave it up to God' is thrown around quite frequently Unfortunately, leaving it up to God doesn't mean that we sit back.

    It seems to me what in essence she is wanting is God to bring him back to her. I'm pretty sure that if a relationship isn't according to His will then he's not going to influence it.

  20. she was wrong but did the right thing, and if the man up stairs wanted to make her call and say I'm sorry then again it was right.

  21. Learning to stop trying to control others has been a biggie for me. It's so important, though! And so absolutely freeing.

  22. This is such a nice post. I'm not the religious kind myself, but I do believe in that last part you mention. It applies to many aspects of our lives and for the most part is what most people refer to as God doing His thing. I'm tryiong myself to apply that principle to those things I can't control, but hard not to let go sometimes because we are used to being or trying to be in cointrol of certain things.

    Great post!

  23. It's weird - I think the "let go, let God/Universe" thing is a bit of a two way street. You can say you're going to do that. You can relinquish your responsibility from a situation. But I think you still have to retain the responsibility of believing (in your deepest gut) that God/Universe wants the best for you. That you DESERVE the best.

    If you interpret circumstances that happen after you "let go" as any sort of punishment for what you did, something is wrong. Does that make any sense?

    I guess what I'm getting at is let go of the pain, upset, anxiety - maybe even the person on the other end of things - but don't let go of the faith that things really WILL work out in your favor. "Let God" but believe you'll get what you truly desire in the end.

  24. Letting go can be incredibly difficult at the best of times . . . I don't it has to be about trust or faith in God necessarily . . . In my view, if we are happy and experiencing inner peace and joy, and not relying on outside forces (people, things, events) to make us happy, letting go becomes much easier . . . Ciao