Friday, July 30, 2010

Define Sexy!

I have been wondering lately what it is that makes someone sexy to others? Is it the way that they carry themselves or the way they speak or look? Maybe it is the way they treat other people or the way they dress? How someone walks or smells? Maybe they have to have the whole package to be sexy to some.

For me, I think that it is a lot about how they make me feel. Someone recently told me that they didn’t care if they were loved, but they needed to be wanted. I understand that comment more than I want to. That feeling of being wanted is so strong for me. I am not even sure what love is sometimes, but being wanted, well that is right up there with my top things in life.

Anyway, sexy to me is someone who knows what they want and it shows in all that they do!

What is SEXY to you?


  1. They do not have to have the whole package to be sexy. It’s just about all how they make you feel… from the smallest thing to the biggest thing. It could be a simple act of kindness to the flash of one part of your body.

    It funny and it changes from time to time…

    You know what is really sexy… somebody showing they want you no matter what it is that you have to show or where you have to do it.

    That’s sexy!!!!

  2. Good question! And I agree that it feels good, really good, to be wanted - that is sexy. Unfortunatley it doesn't neccessarily mean they have feelings for you.

    What makes a person sexy, I think, is the whole package. And when I know someone well, it's those little quirks and mannerisms unique to them that can turn me on.

    I need to stop thinking about this now.

  3. A man who calls me "darlin" with a southern accent is sexy! And, so is one who says "good morning, beautiful" before I've showered or combed my hair. My needs are pretty simply, really.

  4. For me it's their energy. I can't really describe it any better than that. Certain men (and CBG is one of them!) give off a certain sexual energy around me, that makes me weak in the knees....

  5. I agree with Big Sis, southern accented guys are sexy! MLS too!

    I agree with the wanted thing. The want though that I mean would be wanted completely. Not just sexually.

    Confidence is sexy to me, brains are sexy to me. I never cared if she was in perfect shape or anything like that or if she was flawed.

    Game, now that is sexy right there.

  6. I think knowing what you want is a big part of it, as is translating that into action effectively. One set of instructions might read something like this:

    1. See wife at kitchen counter.
    2. Move behind her very tightly.
    3. Grasp hips tenderly, but urgently.
    4. Kiss side of exposed neck, breathing in scent of warm skin and hair deeply.
    5. Take further actions, as needed ;-)
    6. Repeat (in laundry room, den, shower, outside, etc.)

    For me, desire = sexy, however that desire is expressed.


  7. Confidence, to me, is extremely SEXY... When a man exudes an aura like "I get what I want, no matter what." ROFL.... although I have learned that this is NOT always a good quality and usually leads to trouble.
    And the way he makes me feel is also a big turn on.

    I have stood close to men before that have just had this sex appeal that I could FEEL radiating from them... Is that weird? Have you ever experienced that?
    And OMGoodness it is hard to pull away from, LOL!

  8. Interesting topic. I'm sure that my lady would rather be wanted then loved!

  9. I agree with Mama Gayle....there are men that radiate sexy. It is those men that seem to have the whole package.
    I also agree that it is a feeling. Them showing that they want you, that they need you. There is something sexy about knowing how you make them feel.

  10. It's an inner confidence, I think.

  11. Sexy= Robert Downey Jr and the way he sometimes looks over the top of his glasses.

    Oh my.....

    Oh my.....

    I think what makes sexy varies wildly from person to least it does for me. How's that for vague and evasive?

  12. Interesting topic ! I love an intelligent man that can get my sense of humor. I am talking geeky, got excellent grades in school loves to read, can run his own business. That's typically what I've attracted and find myself attracted to.

  13. You. You are sexy. Inside and out.

  14. Gwen and Gayle...I'm am going to have to throw in with those mamas.

    Kindred has that.

    Just this guileless, sexy quality that permeates his writing, his words, his voice and the look on his face.

    The man slays me from 1000 plus miles away in this seemingly effortless way.

    I think sexiness is defined as a function of the person defining it and I think it's nothing affected or a series of steps to be taken.

  15. That's such a great question.The definition of 'sexy' for me changes with the individual. Sometimes it is simply the way they carry themselves or outwardly present and others its their personality. It definitely interests me how my definition of 'sexy' changes depending on whats happening in my life at the time (if that makes any sense). And I know that my idea of sexy is vastly different when speaking of another woman compared to a man. Hmmm...I think i'm just odd lol

  16. Sexy-

    Definitely how they make me feel around them is sexy to me.

    But I'm kinda vain. I definitely have to have SOME kind of attraction to them, whether it's their eyes, body, lips... something.

    Then they have to be funny. It turns me on so much when a guy can make me laugh. I can't tell you how many people would question who I thought was hot because I spent a night with them and laughed the whole time. They went from average to I GOTTA see him again.

    Other than that. I'd say who they are as a person. Those people you know are the same behind closed doors that they are openly. And yea... confidence is sexy, but over confidence is a turn off.

    I agree with Sage on the game part... but it has to be natural "game". Some just have it. Even a guy whose incredibly sexy physically can be a total dud when it comes to game and personality.

    But I think it's BS when people say they don't care about the physical or the looks or whatever... Just sayin

  17. Confidence is sexy. But a nice body to match doesn't hurt! Then again, if you have the body but are insecure, it just doesn't work.

  18. Nice. Sexy is confidence as long as it's not over-confidence bordering on arrogance. Big difference. It's found in the way a person carries him/herself and interacts with others.

  19. There is so much that can make a person sexy. So much more than looks. Confidence is extremely sexy to me. (but not cocky- blech)

    A body can be sexy. Eyes can be sexy. I can't ever really determine what draws me to someone and makes me feel they are sexy. But *DEFINITELY* how they desire me, want me, make me huge.

    Difficult question for me to pin down.

    I do know that being loved and being found desirable are two different things though and with out the bueno.

  20. Sexy is an attitude. It has nothing to do with looks. When a woman is sexy, she knows, and carries it, and works it. A former latina girlfriend of mine comes to mind... Damn.

  21. I agree with confidence, attitude and Johnny Depp. :)

    You just carry it with you, sexiness. I'm not sure it can be turned on and off. I think it's simply an awareness and appreciation.

  22. I like what April said! I agree!

  23. For me sexy can be soooo many different things. And whats sexy on one person doesnt always work on someone else.

    Robert Downey Jr is sexy ALWAYS. =)

  24. Personality-wise : someone that makes me laugh...

    Physically: someone whose eyes twinkle when they look at me....

    Great post

  25. Wit & intelligence are requirements, for me.

    No, you don't have to be a genius to be sexy. But even if you have a killer body, wear the latest fashions, drive the right car, drink the coolest cocktails, etc., if you can't carry on an intelligent conversation, those superficials get old quickly ...

  26. Sexy is what you make it, what you want it to be, and what you see in others. Truly it's different for everyone, but ... for me? Laughter, thoughtfulness, and an accent. ;)

  27. I think there are so many factors into what makes someone sexy...hard to pinpoint!!

  28. 1. Fabulous sense of humor
    2. Intelligence
    3. confidence
    4. well hung

    That should do it.

  29. Good question;
    must be able to have fun, relax, good sense of humor, confident, stands up for herself, (and loves sex)

    let me sum up sexy for me.... you would be so sexy to me if you were able to laugh (out loud) while we were having sex (not all the time that would give me a complex), confident and comfortalbe enough sexually to tell me exactly what you need no matter how deviant and wanting to hear/act out my deviant needs.

  30. What you see in your mirror is sexy to me.

  31. Sexy is the sum of the parts. The confidence, desire, need, want, lust, body, it all plays a role.
    You are obviously wanted for all of that just by reading these comments.

    I could not agree more about being wanted though, its just an overwhelming feeling, even if your so far away. ;)

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  33. Sexy is in your mirror.


  34. After reading these post really answered my question.I have heard I'm sexy most of my life but never understood what made me sexy.I really love this thanks guys/gals....