Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Part 2 of my childhood. Intro

Here is a quick glance at the history of each of my parents.

My mom- Her parents were, from what I know, the normal 50’s Beaver Cleaver family. She had twin brothers that were 7 years older than her and she was the precious baby girl. My grandmother was a saint in everyone’s eyes, especially mine and my mothers. My grandfather, in my mother’s eyes was a great loving father, but if you ask my uncles, he was a cheating, abusive, bigoted drunk. He had a heart attach and died when I was 6, so I don’t remember too much about him other than what I am told. I do remember that he loved me to death. I was from his precious daughter and that made me precious. He would take me fishing and to the railroad to play on the caboose.  He didn't do that with any of my cousins.

My dad- His dad and my grandmother divorced when my dad was born. My grandmother remarried when my dad was around 1 years old. My dad’s real father was never really in the picture, in fact, I think I have only met him once or twice. His step father was his dad and my grandpa and was a great, loving man.  With that said, I am not sure how he lived with my grandmother his whole life. She was a very cold woman that really didn’t know how to show affection, at least not to me or my dad. She was eccentric and always right. I loved her, but she was not your typical loving grandmother. My dad has a step brother whom I don’t remember spending a lot of time with and I don’t think that he and my father have talked since my grandma died three and a half years ago.

My parents met in junior high school and basically started to date at that time. My dad was the stud athlete and my mom was queen of everything. She was stunningly beautiful from the pictures I see. My mother became pregnant with me when she was 17 and my dad was 18. They got married and this is where my story starts!

**I also want to point out that both of my parents were very young when they had me and as I have been told numerous times in my life, "they did the best they could".   I had never understood this until lately.  It always angered me when they would say that since they dragged me unwilling into their mess.
However, now that I am older and have a child of my own, I understand that their only other choices would have been to give me up or not have me at all.  I am thankful that they made the choice they did and that I am able to make choices now. 
My memories of my childhood are not good ones for the most part, but both of my parents are great people now.  Both except me for who I am and what I have done in my life.  Both would die for me and my daughter.  I am very lucky for the relationship I have with them considering my childhood.

14 comments:

  1. I so love this idea! It has really helped me to reevaluate myself through my history. I have little revelations ALL THE TIME as I write it out. I am so excited for you as you learn what makes you tick.

    Beautiful! You are shining brightly!!

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  2. where you a bad girl growing up?

    family, nothing like good family and I feel sorry for those that dont have them...really I do

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  3. Very timely, not that family and family history having an impact on who I am is a new concept, but I've just started learning more about how my familiy "legacy" has a direct link to some of my own behaviors that I asked my counselor to help me with. I think laying it all out in writing is a great idea! I hope it helps in your exploration.

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  4. good for you...going back can be so eye opening and so healing!!

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  5. I am so scared of having kids, scared that I would mess them up.

    My grandparents were and are my saving grace. I have been unbelievably blessed in the grandparent department.

    My parents on the other hand, would kill me if I aired out their dirty laundry for the public, and for that reason I can't talk about it.

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  6. This is a great idea. Isn't it amazing how much we can learn from our history and our family's history!! Patterns that repeat that are up to us to break, or continue...

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  7. Thank you for sharing. I'm glad your parents kept you.... I know I would.

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  8. My parents are deceased. I wish I was nicer to them when I was growing up.

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  9. It's amazing how much becoming a parent changes our perspectives of our own parents. But even that's not always enough. I had to deal with a lot of those issues when I lived with them after leaving my husband. It was really hard to deal with those issues on top of the other issues, and it got to be too much. But now I can fully appreciate them. And know when it's time to get some space!

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  10. I like learning these things about you!

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  11. Nice to hear about your folks, and that you have a new understanding of them now. I'm still trying to figure my own parents out.

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  12. Gah. I'm gearing up for a visit from my parents. We get along well now but some things are hard to forget. Also, my mom can still be VERY controlling and nasty from time to time. I have to bite my tongue as they are watching the kids for almost a week while Hubs and I go away.

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  13. Just survived a visit with my mom. Wish I could be as honest as I'd like to be on my blog, but she reads it daily. Don't get me wrong,she did the best she could, but she's not a happy woman...

    I think we all do the best we can with what we've got.

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  14. Very cool. Thanks for giving us an inside glimpse of your life. :)

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