Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Growth is Painful Business

Lately I have been writing about all of the stuff that I fear, that I want to and need to change about myself, and that I don’t like about myself and it has been a little draining I must say. I am sure reading about it is worse. *apologetic smile*. I am sure as an outsider looking in it seems as though my life is pretty gloomy right now.

Well, the funny thing about that is that I am actually feeling pretty good these days.

I have a job right now and although they cut my hours so that I now have Fridays off, which means less money, (not good). That also means a three day weekend every week and I can’t tell you how nice that has been.

A few of my friends have really stepped up lately and shown me what friendship is all about. When the chips are down, my friends are there. That in it’s self makes me one hell of a lucky girl.

My family is healthy and we really don’t have any drama. We are all really looking forward to Christmas this year since my daughter is starting to understand it. I can not wait to see her face Christmas morning.

My STBX and I have really found our good place. We work well together now that we aren’t living in the same house. I think that we are going to be very good friends and that makes everything less stressful.

Ok, here is a big one for me to admit since I don’t talk about my dating life on here much. I have met someone that I think could be the real deal at some point. We are starting out as friends, no, really just friends. There has been NO physical and a whole lot of mental going on. It is nice for right now. We both need time to figure are own stuff out and want to do that before we start anything. So in the mean time, we are getting to know each other as friends. Holy Cow, what a novel concept. *Shut it Mindymom* LOL

Anyhow, that last paragraph gives me a whole other post and some huge fears surrounding it that will be coming soon, but for now, I am enjoying some mental peace even though my writing has felt quite contrary to that. I think that you have to feel some pain if you really want to grow. Boy, I must be doing a whole lot of growing! *Geesh*


  1. Sounds like very exciting stuff to me. With the exception of having your hours cut. At least you're looking on the bright side, that you do still have a job. It's always very easy to focus on the negative, so kudos to you.

    I can't wait to hear what 2011 has in store for you!!

  2. *smiling* It sounds like you're in a good place right now. I love to read that!

  3. What… three days off each week.. oh I so want that and I know what you could do with your extra day too… *smiles*

    Takes lots of pictures so we can see the faces on xmas morning… there is almost nothing like a xmas face!!!!

    Oh sweet… sounds very promising as things I think always go better as friends to start with.

    Not growing… just living and that’s just a simply perfect way to look at it.

  4. Don't forget to enjoy yourself! (You know you wanted the advice whether you asked or not!)

  5. I can totally commiserate with the dating thing. Just the idea freaked me out. I'm satisfied to put it off as long as possible at this point.

  6. Ya know what, getting it out there, on "paper" helps sooooo much. Now that it's out of you, you should be feeling lighter.

    Excited for your possibilities!!

    (And re: the adrenal fatigue/stress herbs? Go to the health food store. There are LOTS of stress remedies. Talk to the person in chargs of supplements)

  7. That is awesome! I am so happy for you! My husband was my friend before we married. We were friends for 4 years while involved with other people then best friends 3 more years then we started dating. We lived together a year before we married and our 3rd wedding anniversary was in November. Really truly knowing someone is nice. There seems to be a deeper level of respect and commitment.

  8. Writing is therapy. That's why I'm not sure I could ever give up blogging. Even if nobody ever read what I wrote, there's something so cathartic about just putting it all out there. Glad to see so much good going on.

    Big hugs.

  9. Starting off as friends is probably the best way to go. Sex is great but it can't be the only thing to sustain a relationship. Being a little more "grown-up" gives you a better perspective on things, right?

    Christmas is much better with little ones around. Your daughter is going to be fun to watch.

    Your growing pains seem to be letting you see things clearer or in a different light. It's nice to know you recognize the good you have in your life and inside you!

  10. Mindymom's mouth is shut. You know that I know all too well how knowing, saying and actually *doing* what you know and say are very different things. And you are doing WAY better than I am at that these days, ma dear.

    So much goodness in store for you. :)

  11. so glad that things are good..we all have bad moments and days...!! Good for you for enjoying the good moments too...sending lots of good wishes for your new friendship..:-)

  12. Hello Stranger! I'm so glad I found you! Do you know, I know your real name, but couldn't for the life of me remember your blog name...sorry! Forgive me! I'm just so happy to be reading you again, and to see what's going on. Last I had "heard" you were feeling pretty crummy, but things do seem to be looking up. Am looking forward to catching up with you.

  13. HAHAHAHAH " *Shut it Mindymom* LOL "


    I wish you luck my friend. :)

  14. Wow this all sounds great! Congrats! I remember my older sister always telling me to stay in the "information gathering phase" early in relationships. Then you can see whether the person is really worth your time. It took me many, many tries to listen to that advice, but when I finally did, it worked!

  15. Well, look who has a smile on her face.
    Sounds like things are working for you and not against you.
    Keep it going
    Have a wonderful Christmas with that beautiful little girl

  16. Sheesh!! Ive been So busy this last month I didnt even realize you were posting again.

    Sorry I suck.

    Hope things work out with your new friend. And I hope you and your daughter have an AMAZING Christmas!!!

  17. Oh honey writing helps you get out all thoughts feelings...I wrote about sad stuff...Ur wonderful why do you think we always come back...girl power
    xoxox Amie

  18. Slow sounds like a good plan to me. Don't put all your eggs in one basket too soon though.
    Go slow. Be sure.
    Good luck!


  19. I'm excited for you! Sounds like things are coming together for you... *knock on wood* And you seem in a much better place mentally.


  20. Friendship is the most solid foundation for a relationship...keeping my fingers crossed for you x

  21. I think when we're feeling good is when we can really look deep within and see ourselves with fresh eyes. Just as long as we're not beating ourselves up, and using the perspective to give us more to accomplish, and to be proud of. Hope you have a lovely holiday!