Friday, March 4, 2011

Geesh, where have you all been?

Well, it has been a while. It seems like this not working stuff is busier for me than a 40 hour a week job. I can’t figure out where all of my time is going. I have slacked on writing posts and reading. Please forgive me I am trying to get better. I miss all of you!

If you follow me on Facebook you know that I am giddy happy with my new guy. I hate posting about relationships since it seems to be the kiss of death for me, but I think/no I am sure that this one is different. He is a keeper and is sticking! We talk about everything. Things that bother us are easy to communicate about and move on from. I am feeling safe and cherished for the first time in my life. Sure there have been some small issues, but we talk about them. We work through them and we seem to come out better.

One thing that we have both noticed is how I am on the phone. It is really our only source of contention.

I seem to be amazingly happy and secure when we are together. No issues, and then, we talk on the phone and I seem to get a chip on my shoulder. He says he feels like I am on the defensive almost every time we talk on the phone. I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out why it is that I do this. I can be sitting there so excited for him to call, bragging about how wonderful he is to my mom and then I answer the phone and BAMM, I get an attitude for the silliest reason. It is so ridiculous.

I wonder if it is some sort of control issue or insecurity??? I just can’t put my finger on it, but I know I do it. Anyone else have phone issues with their significant other?

If anyone suggests that I don’t talk on the phone, I will fly to where ever you are and beat you bloody with my happy stick! I know a few of you will be tempted! LOL

Anyhow, I do miss all of you!


  1. Don't make me come over there and spank you...

    No.. wait... what... never mind...

    Get that fukking chip off yer shoulder!!! :op



  2. That really is odd...but at least you are aware of it and thats half the battle, right?! And there HAS to be some reason.

    You'll get it figured out even if in the mean time you have to consciously remind yourself while on the phone to knock it the eff off *grin*

  3. Beat us with a happy stick LMBO!

    The phone problem may be due to the fact you can't see his expressions as he is say something and you read it wrong. I had something like that. The cure is to tell your self "Why would he mean it that way... he never talks like that when we are together" Sounds stupid but trust me it works. Since I found that little tool I only get upset on the phone when its at a third party (Like a lame duck son in-law or something)

  4. Yep, I'm suggesting that you dont talk on the phone---
    Oh, alright----when he is there, face to face, you get instant feedback by the expressions on his face and so do you.---And you probably stop yourself from saying somethings or carrying on when you see an expression that warns you.
    So, on the phone, take everything at face value, dont read anything into any comment and just think that he is naked

  5. I get irritated when talking on the phone too. Genereally speaking I dont like to communicate that way at all except for brief and specific reasons and when no other way is possible. I even prefer texting over talking via phone! But nothing can beat face-to-face. I think I get irritated because so much gets lost via phone and I'm a very direct person. I *need* all the non-verbal forms of communication to really value the conversation. Sooo...if you're anything like me maybe you value your guy so much that *less* than the real thing becomes irritating??

  6. I agree, not seeing someone's expressions might play tricks on you. But I am soooo glad you have someone and that you're in a happy place!(I don't follow on FB)


  7. I HATE talking to my husband on the phone. I get annoyed and want to get off- (he expects me to sit still and not make any noise though)- but I INSTANTLY get defensive and find myself snapping for no reason also. I think it comes from past history with him on the phone (and maybe past relationships you have had have gone poorly over the phone at the end)? Phone calls with him are all business usually and when they are not I am waiting for the kick....

    sigh- whoa! how did I go there???

    point being, I have a hard time on the phone with my man too.

  8. Do you have certain expectations when he calls that he isn't meeting? Personally I will talk on the phone but if there are a few instances of dead silence then I'm ready to get off and spend time doing other things....

  9. I'm really happy for you!!! I really, really hate talking on the phone.

  10. Miss you! We definitely have to get together soon!!!

    So happy for you!!!


  11. I hate talking on the phone. It's annoying. I'd rather text.

    Maybe you secretly have the same phone phobia that I do. ;)

  12. Lots of great comments here. I wonder how you handle texting? And I wonder if you feel impatient? Do you do this with others on the phone?

    Like someone else mentioned, at least you're aware of it. That is a first step!

    (And P.S. I like this guy!)

  13. Glad your enjoying your new guy! Good luck if you're looking for a job. And good luck if you're not.

  14. I love your introspection . . . Analyzing our actions and tracing it back to emotions and thoughts . . . It ALL goes back to thoughts, even if they may be buried in the sub-conscious . . . Stay with it Danielle, and you'll figure it out! Ciao

  15. I am happy for you. I also know what it is like with the phone thing. I am a people person, but I am on in person when I can read their expressions and I know how to change the subjects. I despise talking on the phone, and without knowing it get short with people because I want to get off the phone with them.

  16. Stop talking on the phone. Let me know when you're coming so I can take off work. ;)

    Not being a phone person, I really can't say why you have issues. But ... could it be related to past relationships? That when you spoke to others via the phone, they were usually bad discussions?

    I really like that you two are able to communicate - keep that up, never slack. That there was never any real talking/listening in my marriage is why it failed.

  17. How exciting! Safe & cherrished is priceless I'm so glad you found that. *big'ole happy for you grin*

    Get it girl!

  18. God you make me gag. :0)

    So don't talk on the phone. I dare you to fly here and hit me. C'mon. Bring him with you, I want to meet him.

    Who would have thought we'd both be this happy? Shit is the world ending?

  19. I don't know how to fix the problem, but I am familiar with it. I remember feeling much more secure and laid back with Mr. W when I was with him in person than when I was talking to him on IM or the phone. It's strange...maybe it's the ability to read their body language? Do you think it's insecurity that causes you to be different with him on the phone? I know that's what it was for me. I became more aloof or bitchy or whatever to protect myself because I felt more insecure. I think things like this get fixed over time as you become even more secure in the relationship. Can you wait it out?

  20. Separation anxiety? If you aren't together you are afraid it isn't real maybe? The deep down inside is having a harder time coming to terms with the trusting and relaxing and enjoying the relationship. IT is holding the past relationships against him. When he is with you everytihng is okay. When he is away from you the hurts from the past when others hurt you surface and mistrust (SUBCONSCIOUS) come to front - unknowingly you are blaming him for things others did to you. So - remember he isn't your exes. when you are on the phone with him PRETEND he is in the room with you TRUST him with all your heart and love him for who he is let go of doubts and insecurities and fears that surface when you aren't together. IT will be okay.

    HUGS - I haven't been around much lately either - 17 credit hours of college and a million hours of homework !! Killing me!!!!!! LOL


  21. That is so great that you've found someone.
    I think phone conversations can just be that way. It's hard to fully communicate without body language. I don't think there is anything wrong with you :)

  22. good for you baby.
    Damn good.
    You have insecurities. They ALL have no real foundation. Let them go and love your guy up.

  23. you have been so quiet.. I hope you are doing ok..