Always think ahead

I think I have posted before that my little angel "toots" has always been a little difficult when getting dressed and un-dressed, but it has gone way beyond that now and I need reassurance that it is "Just a stage"

She turned 2 on April 10th and BOY did she turn 2. I think I am one step away from shoving a sharp pencil in my left eye. Nothing is easy right now, and the only thing that makes the pain subside is A LOT of wine. Ok, and when she grabs my face and kisses me like a fish and tells me "yuv you" It's a damn good thing she is cute and sweet for a minute.

So here it is. Tell me it will be ok in a few days. PLEASE

1) She wakes up screaming mad during the week. It takes me 20 minutes to change her diaper and put 2 items of clothing on her tiny little body. She then has to be held until we leave for work/daycare. If I put her down, someone is going to pay. (Usually my stepdaughter that is on summer vacation and would like to sleep past 6am without a screaming baby as an alarm clock) This last part is the only reason I give in to the holding part right now. I feel sorry for the 17year old 1 room away. I just try to hurry us out of the house as fast as possible.

2)Her ability to eat anything twice has faded. If I gave her toast yesterday and she loved it, she will throw it at me today. I never know what food she is going to like from day to day. I don't give in and she usually ends up going without food for that period of time, but we usually end up with enough wasted food to feed the entire population of homeless in Denver and a screaming toddler to boot. Unless of course it is peeza (pizza) which we do not have handy every morning. Did I mention that she has the worst "I scream like a chick" scream ever.

3)Ohhhhhhh, the car seat battle continues. I thought I had remedied this one with the DVD player but nooooo. She has figured out how to wiggle her little arms out of the harnesses and get stuck looking like someone in a catatonic state as I am driving down the highway with no place to pull over and adjust. So, we started tightening the straps so that this won't happen, but now "it huuts momma" "tieeet" "ouchy" She creams the whole 45 minutes that it takes me to drop her off. Seriously, the WHOLE 45 minutes. Actually every time we get in the car these days we go through this battle.

4)She used to love muuk (milk), but now thanks to my husband it has to be choco (chocolate milk) or she will throw it. (At me, by the way)Since I am having none of that, the throwing part or the always chocolate part, I have to find away to provide her the nutrition she is missing out on from the milk.

5) My little daring that loved taking baths for hours on end now screams bloody murder when I even mention a bath. I forcefully place her in the tub and she claws, kicks and splashes her way to a 1 minute, rinse off. Ok, I am not going to have a smelly baby so I see if she will take a shower with me. Yep, NOOO. I will say that I can at least manhandle her enough to get some soap on her body this way, but I end up with war wounds in the mean time. By the way, fun toys don't help. Oh, did I mention that nasty little scream.

6) She will NOT brush her teeth. I get her and my tooth brush ready every morning and every night and start to brush so that she sees me doing it. I even act crazy and sing songs or act like it is vibrating. Nope, she is not falling for it. She places the tooth brush in her mouth, sucks all of the toothpaste off it and says "mooor". She won't move the brush around and if I try to help, the screaming and waving the arms around in frantic, I am hoping to make contact movements begin. Her breath stinks. I told her that last night and she responded with "Daavey, I tink" (Daddy, I stink) :)

7)She won't sit at the table and eat. I know I created this monster and I am paying for it now. I kinda let her graze and since she wont sit still for more than 20 seconds at a time, I just shove things in her hands as she runs by. My husband and I try to eat dinner together at the table and we include her, but since she can't sit still, she usually ends up being asked to leave the table unless she can stop crawling on it or on one of us. This also leads to "That" scream. I am going to have to name it for future reference.

8) Oh, Bedtime, now this is a treat. She was going to bed at 6:30 pm without any problems. She would get a sippy of muuk and be allowed to sit on the couch and watch tv until the muuk was gone. There weren't any issues with this until that uggg day in April when the demon came to live with us, oh and it stays lighter later. Now, she won't drink muuk unless it is choco, so we don't have that. It's still light until around 9pm, so we don't have the "it's dark and nini time" anymore. She won't put jammies on anymore because "SHE" wants to do it and she has them on/off/inside out and every different direction over a 1 hour period until she finally decides that naked is better. If I just put her in her room and let her cry it out, she will use "that scream" for hours. She will lay on her floor by the door and scream under the door with her little fingers peeking out from under it until weee hours of the morning.

9) She also has "the Whine" down pat. Nothing starts out in simple normal talk like, "muuk peez" or "cawkie peez" cookie please. From the 1st time it leaves her mouth, it is a full blown "MUUK, MUUK, MUUK" I am constantly asking "what do you say in your non whiny voice" She know she is not getting it until she says please, but she demands it first in "that Whiny" voice.

I know that I can think of 100 other things but I am just plain worn out and my ears have this weird little noise in them. Maybe the remnants of "that scream"

So, PLEASE tell me this is just a phase and I have not created a monster that will ensue death upon me at the ripe old age of 38. It might even be that nasty thing called Karma that frequents me on occasion.

I always say that this is why they make babies so damn cute and helpless. We fall in love with them during that stage and then we are stuck loving the little demons.

PS. This post is mostly so that Toots will understand all that I endured while she was a toddler and so that I may torture her as a teen and make her mow the yard and clean her room as repayment. I am always thinking ahead.