As mentioned in previous posts, I had a summer relationship/fling and ended up pregnant. The man decided to walk away from the situation and is still MIA. When my daughter was 1, I met someone and got married. My daughter calls him Daavy ie... daddy. She loves him to death and he loves her back.
So now, I wonder how this will all unfold for us as she grows and becomes aware of things. I am guessing she is going to wonder why she doesn't even closely resemble my husband when his daughter is the spitting image of him. Plus, I did not take his last name because I did not want to have different last names than my daughter. If my husband decides to adopt her, She and I will take his name at that time.
I am a huge advocate of honesty and truth and have every intention of telling her and letting her decide. I have kept all contact information on the sperm donor and his family so that I can pass it on to her if she wants it. But when and how does all of this happen?
My daughter is only 2 right now and I know that I have some time to figure this stuff out, but when and how do you tell your child that her father/sperm donor didn't want to be a part of her/our lives? When and how do I tell her that the man she thinks of as daavy is not her biological father? Do I wait until she asks me? Is there a magical age to sit her down and explain to her that her mommy screwed up and there is a man out there somewhere that is a part of her but that she does not know. Will she ever want to know since there is a man around that she calls daavy? Is she going to be mad at me?
Strange tidbit: Sperm donors name is Dave and I called him Davey. Think she knows somehow? Just a little hmmmm moment!
Any and all advice is welcome.