Wednesday, June 24, 2009

My heart goes out!

When I was 17, I worked at a bank as a teller. After about 1 year I was considered "good at my job". Customers came to me because I was fast and efficient and I trained a lot of the new tellers. Well, management decided that they needed a boss that would shape things up on the old teller line, so they brought in this 45 year old hard assed woman to fix us all. Well except me, since I was so good already. Ha ha. She yelled at me one day in front of my co-workers and customers. I took her to the side, as a 17 year old remember, and told her that if she had something to say to me, have the respect to do so in private and not in front of others. Well, because I stood up to her as no one else would, she LOVED me from then on out. That was 20 years ago and we are still as close as ever. She now lives in Arizona but we talk every couple of weeks. I am kind of her sounding block. She has always thought of me as her 3rd child and treats me as such. We have been through a lot of happiness and tears over the last two decades. About 2 months ago she had to come in town for her fathers funeral and I went. I truly lover her and her whole family. They have been like a 2ND family to me.

About 6 years ago her daughter whom is 42 (4 years older than me) was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through all that one goes through and was in remission. Since then, she has had 3 more bouts with it and has beat them all. Now however, It has moved to her liver. There is so much more to this story that makes my heart break for everyone involved, but here is the gut of it. My friend called me last night from the hospital. They have her daughter on temporary dialysis which they are saying is just postponing her death until her son gets into town. Her son is 16. She is probably going to die within the next few days.

How on earth does a mother deal with her child's death. It doesn't matter how old you are, we are supposed to go long before our children. My heart breaks for their family. I don't know what to say or do, I just listen and offer to come sit with her.

I am her daughters age. It could be me. I feel this whole sense of helplessness and gratefulness that are so powerful. I want to hug my mom and my daughter and never let either one of them go. EVER!

I am not sure if I should jump on a plane to be with her or if I should wait. I have asked her what she wants me to do, but she is in such a state of sadness that she herself can barley function. I am not sure I would be of help at this point. Death is such a hard thing no matter it's form. I truly feel blessed right now to have my family and hers.


  1. I'm so sorry for you and your 2nd family - that is really incredibly sad. Not just for her mother but her 16 year old son - omg, I feel so bad for him! I can't imagine losing a parent now, much less at 16!

    I'm sure your friend knows that you are there for her, and when she's ready to grieve on your shoulder she will - but its a process and your just being there for her in spirit is comforting her I'm sure. That's all anyone can do right now....

    Wow - you must be a fantastic friend to have such a special, close 20-year friendship with this woman. Be strong in these sad times!


  2. Alicia- Thanks. It is easy to be friends with someone for that long when they are so big hearted and let you be a part of their lives. Thanks reading.

  3. You got blog homework! I tagged you in meme!

  4. I am so sorry to hear of this. As I sit and read this, several days after you posted, I can't help but wonder how things have progressed... whether her son made it to her side... whether she is at peace... and how long it will take those who are left to find theirs.

    Sending you all my warmest thoughts and prayers for an impossible situation. Take care.

  5. That is so horrible. I can't even imagine. :(