Well it has been quite a week/week-end for yours truly.
Thursday, I had my last therapy session. Now, I still need it desperately. Maybe even more than before, but, I am now single and going to be much much poorer. $120.00 an hour is just not in the plan anymore. So my therapist gave me a list of books that I need to read and told me to journal A LOT! It's funny how I go in spurts on working on myself. I was cruisin along for a while and then I just stopped. Time to get back on the self fixing pony. Quickly!
Friday, I packed all of mine and my daughters belongings (for the 2nd time mind you) for our final move out. I took her to my moms and headed out to happy hour with Mind. I said happy hour if anyone misunderstood me. We were going to have a (1) drink. Yeah, I got home at 2. AM. In the morning. I think. My mom said I can't hang out with her any more. I am officially grounded from Mind! :)
Saturday, I woke up to a text from the above mentioned person which I am no longer aloud to speak of. Thank god, since my alarm did not go off. Maybe because I forgot to set it. Maybe. I rushed around getting stuff ready to make the big move. If it weren't for the constant moving around, I am guessing that I would have been a little sick. So I guess moving out has some benefits. I say this with a huge frown on my face.
My husband that hasn't givin me the time a day in months, CRIED ALL DAY LONG! ALL DAMN DAY! Seriously, WTF? Why couldn't you have shown me any emotion until I am moving out. Maybe if you would have givin me a hint that you cared before this, IT WOULDN'T BE HAPPENING!!!! Ugg, men drive me nuts.
Needless to say, it has been an emotionally draining week. But, it is time to move on and find me. It could be very interesting.
Oh girl... That is tough. I'm glad you had some girl time to help you through it. Hopefully, the support system you've built will help.
ReplyDeleteSending you big hugs as you being your new journey. You'll be fine.
XXOO
Good luck in these tough times.
ReplyDeleteit is such an emotional time!!!!!! BUT as you know, it will pass! And life will get better and better and then you will find you are living your best life..not just a better one!!
ReplyDeleteIt is always difficult to go through a major change. But it is usually worth it in the end. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteYeah, therapy is so expensive, mine was charging me the same amount.
ReplyDeleteI find that a lot of men (not all) tend to procrastinate with issues like this. Also, men tend to grieve more in private. I am pretty sure that he'll feel lonely and try to either get you back or shack up with someone else early on.
But I don't feel sympathy for him, he should've made an effort earlier to try and fix things.
I think you're doing the right thing. I can't imagine what you must be going through, but it is better to free yourself from this now so you can find a better match for yourself while your daughter is still a toddler.
Oooh wow, had no idea this was going on. Just the fact you can write about it takes guts, I think you're going to be just fine. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSometimes people can't see past themselves until everything is disappearing...
ReplyDeleteI wish you luck on your journey of self-discovery...I'm with you trying to figure it all out. A year out in front, I can tell you that it does get better, lots better. But it is still hard.
Looking forward to reading as you grow.
Thinking of you and your little girl. It is so tough.
ReplyDeleteGood luck. She asked me to move out, so that made it easier I think.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself some time. And I'm totally jealous of your night out with Mind!
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking us with you. We don't mind if you sit on our couch for some therapy time...really...it'll be fine and a lot cheaper!
ReplyDeleteYou know you've gotta do what's best for you. Don't let the tears tug at your emotions. Sometimes it's too little too late.
ReplyDeleteOh sure, just blame me for your late arrival home and condition the next day! Little Miss "lets go downtown with this group at 11pm". Bet your glad I had the sense to stop you from doing THAT! ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm always here for you.
I feel for you, on all counts. Therapy can be expensive. Glad you got some. Here's my short list of books that helped me through divorce healing: http://dadshouseblog.com/2008/07/29/great-books-for-relationship-and-divorce-advice/
ReplyDeleteHappy hour(s) help too!
Wow, big transitions. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteOh, yes, I hear you, too! What you wrote on T's blog this week resonated so deeply for me. That's where journaling helps me, too: to remember that many of these feelings are SO old, and the "adult" me can step up and help that little scared girl.... I look forward to reading more about your journey.
ReplyDeleteDanielle, one thing you may want to do with the inability to go to therapy is pick selected journal entries, and put them on your blog. While that seems a little crazy from a privacy point of view you seem to have a lot of strong supporters, except for Mind who seems only to corrupt you, and why not let those of us who have spent thousands of dollars give you feedback. Totally up to you of course but I would love to help and I am sure others would too. It becomes group therapy really and who knows your issues may touch a nerve with others and help them too. I hope you find yourself, I am absolutely convinced that there is something very valuable worth finding. Peace Steve
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