Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Doctor Shmoctor... I am doing good. Right?

Toots had her 3 year wellness visit yesterday and I left the doctors office realizing that I might not have this whole parenting thing down yet.

I got scolded for how much milk she drinks. She is in the 5th percentile in weight and 10th percentile in height which is good since she never used to even register. She is a twerp and eats like a bird (I know), she is going to be little like her momma, what can I say. Apparently it is because I let her have milk every time she asks for it and so she is not eating the right amount of food that she needs. So now my little girl is going to have to be weaned off her favorite calorie source and I am going to have to learn to cook. Darn it, milk was much easier.

Then…

She is also very shy for about the first 20 minutes of being in new surrounding s and meeting new people, so when he was trying to see where she was verbally, he couldn’t really get a feel. In the 20 minutes that he saw her, he decided that I might want to have her evaluated on her speech. He showed her a couple pictures of animals and asked which one fly’s. She couldn’t tell him. He asked her which one gallops and she couldn’t tell him that either. When we were alone, I asked her what birds do and she told me that they sit in trees and make this noise, (insert chirping) and horses go num num when they eat hay! He asked her what you do with a cup and she told him that she dumps it on her head in the bathtub. So we see and do things a little differently at our house (imagine that). I hope that doesn’t mean that I am doing and teaching her incorrectly, just different.

Basically he said that he couldn’t understand 75 percent of what she said (which was not that much to begin with) and that if I wanted to, I could have her evaluated by a speech therapist. I talked to a bunch of people that are around her enough for her to be comfortable and all of them think that she is right on track. It would be free help if she is a little behind, but I would have to take time off work and right now, I can’t afford to do that. I would do anything for the well being, of my child, but does she need it based on 20 minutes with a doctor? What to do, what to do?

Then…

Then, to add a little more salt to my already abused by the doctor wound, as my daughter was crawling all over me and wanting to jump from the medical table, he asked me if I had read Love and Logic or wanted to attend a parenting class. Holly hell, this is 20 minutes of our lives and doesn’t quite depict reality.

This is normal doctor telling 3 year old parents stuff right? Right???????????????

22 comments:

  1. Get a new doctor. What an ass! Kids have amazing instincts, and since she clearly wasn't comfortable with him, it's time to move on.

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  2. That's really funny. I am not sure whether to laugh or scowl at this doctor. I'm sure he was trying to be helpful, but it is insulting.

    I agree with April. Wouldn't hurt to find a new doctor.

    What do your instincts tell you? Your girl seems happy and loved. I'd say you are spot on in the parenting department.
    xxoo

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  3. First of all, her height and weight is exactly where CoCo was at her age! And she also was barely on the charts much before that.

    Kids develop at different rates and from being around Toots it's clear that she is a very smart, aware and healthy little girl. I've heard it is a GENERAL rule kids should be clearly understood by others by the age of three, but not ALL are. It doesn't mean she wont get there. And she did just turn three.

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  4. Sounds like your Dr. might have picked the wrong specialty or has no children of his own. I would look for a new pediatrician stat!

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  5. I have to tell you - my middle guy didn't speak until he was three years old. I think he was over 4 before others started to understand what he was saying. He was my second child though so I wasn't as paranoid as alot of "new" moms.

    One day he started speaking in clear, full sentences and hasn't shut up since. In grade 4 he was reading at a grade 8 level.

    Kids are all different. Get a new doc. He sounds like an ass.

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  6. I didn't get the impression at all that the doctor was being an ass, it sounded like he was just doing his job. Kids typically shouldn't have more than 16 oz. of a milk a day, which is two cups; it stands to reason that regardless of what percentile she is in, she is probably drinking way more milk than she should.

    As fas as the verbaliziation goes, you just have to trust your own instincts on that, and if you and the people around her feel like she is verbalizing normally, meh, don't worry about it. If she is still unintelligable by 4, maybe then it will be different, but I know LOTS of 3 year olds who can't be understood even half the time; don't sweat that.

    And last, as far as the parenting class goes, I think it is a great idea for ANY parent, but especially a single one-and instead of thinking of it as a criticism of your parenting, think of it as an opportunity. I had to take one before the judge would sign my divorce from my ex, and I pissed and moaned about having to go, but I ended up getting a lot of really great information out of it. Then a few years ago the two older kids and I also took one called "Strengthening Families," and while there were parts of it that I hated and parts that simply didn't apply, I think it gave me a lot of good tools.

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  7. Just remember..Dr. don't know everything...listen to your mommy instinct...she's your child and just because some chart say she should be at a certain place you...know her best! My son wouldn't eat anything when he was little I had to put everything in milk...pea and milk..in a bottle...and he is 14 and 6ft tall...trust your self...children only need a tblspoon of food at a time...for info I would look up Dr. oz

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  8. I would say get her evaluated. Why? Because she's under school age and its free by the government. My son was a preemie and behind on everything. Let me tell you having the extra therapy was great for him. It's an extra playmate and they get a head start on a lot of stuff other kids don't.

    While you're doctor sounds really rough around the edges. Watching what calories come from liquid and solids is important.

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  9. I wouldn't worry about her weight and height. I was off the chart for years and I caught up. She'll turn out fine even if you don't learn to cook. :)

    I don't know what to say about the parenting class comment... He could have just been trying to be helpful - or he could've been being a jerk. Do you know anyone else who takes their kid to him? Maybe they'd have some insight.

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  10. I've never taken well to a doctor that crosses the line and tells me how to discipline a child, unless I asked, kwim? And your instincts will tell you what you need to do about her speech, and it sounds like you already know. Trust them :)

    D

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  11. The doctor needs to be kicked in the head... just saying...
    You are a wonderful mother. And milk? It does a body good. As long as she isn't sucking down half and half, everything should be groovy.

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  12. I agree with Kori. Maybe your doctor has a rough bedside manner, but it sounds like he is just concerned about some things, and he's trying to give you ideas on what you can do.

    I'm also in healthcare as you well know, so maybe that has something to do with it. ;)

    I say get her evaulated. There is no harm in that whatsoever. If she's up to speed on everything, at least you will have the peace of mind that you did what you needed to do.

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  13. I say go with your gut. Although you probably should cut back on the milk a litte. =)

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  14. (chuckle) My youngest son is off the charts--on the OTHER end. Just turning nine, he's 5'3" and weighs in at 120lbs! I've lived through years of doctors going, "wow....what do you feed him?" My usual answer is, "Whole cows and dogfood."

    You are SO right that 20 minutes in an unfamiliar environment is NOT real life. Doc seems a bit of a dolt, but his suggestions are the same ones I made for a decade as a preschool/learning center director. (only I also reccommended duct tape, vodka and military school...) Parenthood is not for the faint of heart! (just think--years of elementary school teachers "suggesting" things await thee!) Rock on hot mama, I think you're doing fine!

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  15. I had a preemie, so I've been through the evaluations and the speech therapy, and the special instruction, and the physical therapy. (We were therapied to DEATH.) The end result is a kid that can talk well, but mostly simply chooses not to. Or, Rachel won't let him. It's a toss up. And he's still a stick. Built like his father. I'm...curvy.

    Don't worry too much, but do take some of the advice. Mostly, don't beat yourself up too much. They don't send us home from the hospital with an instruction book.

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  16. Do you have other moms in your circle? Ask them what they think as far as her speech goes...as for parenting classes, I think you're doing just fine. For the milk? I don't know...how much does she drink in a day? Couldn't hurt to try, I guess. Hang in there!!

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  17. Ask my son what you do with a cup, and he'll tell you: wear it during lacrosse to protect the family jewels! :-) (He's 14) I like your daughter's bath version.

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  18. I definitely agree on the milk thing. I try to offer a balance of foods and drinks with my girls. You don't have to cut her off immediately but make it a gradual transition. Like, add more water to her milk over the course of time and eventually just have her drink water more and milk less. You got this, D. The doctor was offering advice. Its up to you what to do with it.

    Keep her engaged with conversations and reading. That always helps with kids. Even if she doesn't speak til she's 4 (like my nephew), all of that stuff sticks with them!

    You've got this. You're offering her love and stability and fun people in her life. Take what he offered that you can work with and leave the rest behind.

    ((hugs))

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  19. I think it's time for a new doctor!!!!

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  20. The doctor sounds like a jerk, I would find a new one, but go see him one last time, and you should both wear t-shirts that say "Got Milk ?".!!!

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  21. As long as she gets there in the end then it's ok. Doctors try to get every child on the same timeline, but it just doesn't happen that way. Each individual has their own interests and since she can communicate with you without any problem, she probably isn't concerned enough to be working on her speech. Nothing abnormal about that! If you do want reassurance then get her tested, but if you feel she's on the right track when she's around you, then don't panic. Kids are just like some of us who get nervous around doctors, they clam up!

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