Holy eye opening experiences lately! Things are just coming at me really quickly right now. I am almost tempted to duck!
I realized last night that I am enabling Guy#4 to go through a shitty guy phase. I have been telling him that it is all ok because he is going through a phase and we all know how big of a heart he has. I am allowing him to excuse away his shittyness. I am excusing away his shittyness. I am holding on to what he was or what he could be. He is not that good guy right now and I am allowing it to continue instead of being a real friend and telling him to STOP the EXCUSES and become who he is and can be! He has it in him to be that man again. I believe that with all of my heart but he has to choose it and he has to stop making excuses for why he is not right now! NO MORE!!!!! It is not ok for me to do it and it is not ok for him to do it and stay in my life.
The madness stops now with me! I need to stop fixing everyone else and making excuses for them so they will reciprocate the favor. IT NEVER HAPPENS THAT WAY.
Ummmmm, it is never ok to shit on other people and then excuse it away because you are “messed up” right now and trying to figure yourself out. I have done it recently and it is not ok for me to do or anyone else that is in my life to do.
I do this with every guy I date. I want to see the good in people so much that I look past all of the red flags and signs and boundaries that I should have in place. If I “fix” them, then they will love me or if I excuse their shitty behavior then they will excuse my past shitty behavior. Or, I like that they are shitty because then they won’t mind me being shitty. F@*k the excuses and be the good person!
Shewwwww, now that I have gotten that out, I need to actually figure out how to put it in place and become very strict in holding to it!