Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Holy cougar, how did this happen?

I just celebrated the very last Birthday that I will allow my self to ever celebrate.

I am now 39. It is possible that 1/2 of my life is over.
I am going to be 50 when my daughter is 13.
I have to use wrinkle cream and watch that I don't get sun on my face anymore.
I can't skip a few meals and lose enough weight to fit in my go out jeans anymore.

I can't go drinking and feel OK the next day and possibly the day after that anymore.
I don't get mistaken for under 21 anymore.
I wonder if when I am with my 16 year old step sister and my daughter if people think I am the grand mother.

My dad can't stop saying " I can't believe I have a 40 year old daughter. I will just tell everyone I was 9 when I had you".

I am closer to having my senior discount card than I am to being 16 and getting my drivers licence.
When I work out, I am sore for a week instead of 2 days and I have to watch out that I don't blow out a knee or something.
I have to watch what I wear so that I don't look like "that chick that is trying to look 20" "Poor thing, she just doesn't get it."

If I talk to a younger man, I am a "Cougar".

I am going to have to start eating at Country Buffet.
I am no longer the young cute girl that can play dumb to get her way. It's not cute anymore.
I will have to die my hair for the rest of my life. I can't get away with saying "seriously, it is a new shade of blond"
I am going to have to buy me some nude knee high pantie hose.
Geesh, where did the time go?
Here is where I get to decide.
These can be the best or worst of times.
It is all up to ME!


  1. Just wiat until you SIT DOWN WRONG and hurt your back. Seriously. But I think that as long as you don't buy those mumus in assorted colors and wear them around twon, you aren't really old. When I get to that point, I just want to be put out of my misery.

    Happy belated birthday.

  2. Happy Birthday !

    There are a lot of women in my area that are approaching 40 but try to look like they are still 20.

    My metabolism screeched to a halt when I turned 26. I really have to work hard to fit into my pants.

  3. Wait, are you calling ME old?

    Glad you got caught up sista-cougar. Rawr!

    We need to get out and celebrate your b-day soon!

  4. I'm 36 and this last birthday hit me the same way. I never felt old before this birthday, but I guess being a single mom of a toddler is hard at times because there is no time for dating, so sometimes I feel like I'm wasting the last few "Hott Mama" years I have left.

    You're right though, it's up to us to decide if these will be the best or the worst of times. I vote for the best!!!

  5. Kori- I have been feeling the pain for years now, so I totally understan that. Thanks for the Bday wish.

    Senorita- Thanks ye young one. I am so jealous.

    Mind- We definitely need to go prowlin soon. I need to hear about "the situation". :)

    Mama NYC-You just wait till you see the big 40 on the very near horizon. It's a view I am not looking forward to. But Yes, they say that life starts at 40 and I am guessing WE are going to make Hot Mama's proud!

  6. Happy B-day! I'm gonna be 40 in Dec so I've got you beat :)

    I vote for the best of times.

  7. Happy Birthday girlie. You do not look over a day over 31. :)

  8. Happy Birthday and remember to ration your smiles to decrease creases in you face. ;)

  9. Happy birthday!! FYI, the 40s rock. Much better than the 30s, at least for me. Older and wiser...

  10. Wait a second... There comes a time when you can't play dumb anymore???

    I guess I'm totally fu*ked then. ;)

  11. Kathy B- At least I am younger than someone. :)

    Mike- That is one that I hope that I don't follow. :) :)

    Dad- If it's good for you, than it will be good for me. We can compare notes next year.

    Candice- Girl you can do what ever you want. It's your world.
    Plus being fu*ked isn't so bad. :)

  12. Man, I'm only 23, and the way I look at it...it's a miracle I survived this long. Good job!

  13. Hold on - I thought 40 was the new 20? This means you're only 19. :)

  14. Red-23! OMG you could be my kid!

    Mel- Me like the way you think.:)

  15. Happy Birthday! Your blog is great...I'm glad you commented on mine so I found yours. Your story is so unique and interesting and your writing is great!! I guess what I'm trying to say, old lady, is you rock! ;)

  16. Cougar Schmooger. It doesn't matter what age you are if you're a hottie. Or a MILF. ;)

    Happy Birthday Darlin!

  17. Tsquared- Thanks. I have to say Ditto!

    QT-Awe thanks from one MILF to another!!!!

  18. you're fabulous.

    but please stay away from old country buffet.

  19. Wait, I thought I was the cougar? ;) Joking.

    Girl, I'm only a year away from going through the thought process you are. So, with that in mind, I can't completely empathize but I still say that you are a hot mama with a lot to offer the world.

    And happy birthday! When was that?! Definitely need to go out and celebrate. :)

  20. Blunt-Come on, Buffets are great. The mashed potatoes don't loosen your dentures ;)

    Amira- As soon as I get rid of the Evil flu that has been choking me all weekend, we are going OUT!!!

  21. "I am now 39. It is possible that 1/2 of my life is over."

    At 34, I've had similar thoughts. Though I admit, it's not the thought that my life is half over so much that I wish I had done the first half so differently.

  22. Happy Birthday!

    I noticed you as a new follower, and am returning the bloggey love. Looking forward to the days ahead with ya!

  23. I feel your pain sister! This year was my 10th anniversary of turning "29". I am so not looking forward to turning the "Foxy Forty" next year. Oh well, it could be worse....we could be graduating from a cougar to the dreaded "silver fox" (gulp)..........

  24. Hi, Danielle,

    How are you?

    I am 36 so I'm right there with you. This is sort of what I think...

    Let's say you live to be 80. Now, the first 20 years of your life are just a wash. I mean, really, we're all just idiots for those years and you're not even enough of yourself to properly claim those years as your own. So, that means you get 60 years that more or less really belong to you.

    You're just barely a 1/3 of the way into that. You're at mile marker 19 of 60.

    Also, if that didn't make you feel better, I'll chase you around a couch when I'm in Denver visiting. Deal?


  25. Geez girl - way to string out the b-day wishes.

    Would you write a new post already?! ;)

  26. Christopher- Maybe that is it. I just wish I did the first 1/2 differently.

    Daffy- Thanks, I enjoyed your blog, so I will be seeing you often.:)

    Mags- Ouch, I didn't think of the whole Silver Fox deal, I guess I'll be happy with where I am now.

    RE- Oh, Can't wait to see you out here. I'll test out your theory when you get here. See how fast I can run. :)

    Mind- A girls gotta do what a girls gotta do to get some comments. :) But did ya catch that RE is comming to see us!!!!

  27. Oh, actually, my theory was that women over the age of 36 are sexually uninhibited and not afraid of a weekend affair. THAT WAS MY THEORY.

  28. RE- This is very true. When are you coming so that I can make sure my divorce is final? :)